She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
sex in a hospital.. check
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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