I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
