pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
