I seem to have left my pride at pride
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
