Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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