We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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