I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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