just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
