sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
