what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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