playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
