Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
