We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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