I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
