whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
