Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
