You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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