A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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