i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
