a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Shame - the story of my life.
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