I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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