these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
