I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
