I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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