her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
