sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
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