I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
