question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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