Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
