I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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