Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
