Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
