The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
