why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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