Cold hands, warm shart.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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