they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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