i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
