The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
