he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I believe in your delicious
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
