I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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