Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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