There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
