4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this just has baby written all over it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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