I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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