ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
