Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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