so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize