I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize