Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
