WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
