That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
