glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize