i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
